Stop Trying to Whip Yourself Into Shape

Let’s face it, we are all going to fall short of our ideals at some point or another.

Whether that is sticking to a diet or exercise schedule, having more patience with the people in our lives, or staying committed to something we are creating or working towards, we will all have those times where we miss the mark.

Sometimes, we may fall of the horse for days, weeks or even months at a time. I completely understand how frustrating that can be, so what is the answer?

For many of us, there is a critical voice inside our head that says “I can’t believe you did (insert undesired behavior) AGAIN! Are you ever going to learn??” Or maybe something even worse.

The problem here is that when we take that voice too seriously, we just start feeling poorly about ourselves and start believing that we really are incapable of changing.

Often, this harsh inner-critic is the internalized voice of authority figures from throughout our life who spoke to us in these kinds of ways.

Keep in mind that those people had probably been spoken to in a similar way by their parents, relatives and teachers, and they might not have known any other way when dealing with you.

That doesn’t make it right of course, but it does help us understand how far back the cycle goes.

At any rate, what can we do at this point in our lives now that the damage has been done? My humble and honest opinion is that radical acceptance and forgiveness is the only way to break the cycle.

We must primarily forgive ourselves for all those times when we have fallen short. This does not mean that we don’t make greater efforts to improve ourselves and adhere even more closely to our principles, but simply that a critical, punitive attitude does us far more harm than good for us.

We may think that being hard on ourselves is the only way that we are going to change in a meaningful way, but what it actually does is pave the way for guilt, shame, and inner-conflict that often breeds resentment.

When we show ourselves true compassion and forgiveness however, we become more open to understanding ourselves at a deeper level and gaining more awareness of why we are the way we are.

It is only once we more fully accept ourselves that we can acknowledge our innate capacity for further growth and transformation, and for the transcendence of old patterns, beliefs and behaviors.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we let ourselves off the hook, but it does mean that we avoid the trap of lower emotional states that actually drain us of our vital energy and willingness to change.

Until we stop condemning ourselves for having certain tendencies and habits that don’t serve us any longer, we can’t hope to become more whole and step into the awesome power of who we truly are.

Always remember that your worth is not measured by all the things you succeed or fail to accomplish. You are perfectly imperfect, and your own intrinsic worth and potential is never truly in question.

Humbly acknowledge your own humanity, and the fact that you care enough to want to change in the first place. That is already something to celebrate and to feel good about!

At the end of the day, we cannot bully ourselves into wholeness and fulfillment, only love will take us there!

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And if you need some support in overcoming cycles of guilt, shame and burnout and are ready for a breakthrough, use this link to find out more about how I can help you: https://heal.me/dskeeler