Beyond Judgment: How to Break Free from Reactive Thinking

Have you noticed that most of us are so quick to make judgments about everything and immediately assume that we know exactly what things mean or represent?

All we are really doing is projecting our preconceived ideas or beliefs onto people, events, and situations, which in turn assigns them the subjective meaning which we then react to. In a nutshell, this is the simplest way to understand how we create our own reality.

Judgement blinds us to the full picture of whatever it is we are judging. It precludes the existence of other possibilities and interpretations that might be far more benign, or even beneficial for us.

In other words, we can’t always see how things are actually working out on our behalf, rather than working against us. Perception is the real differentiating factor, meaning that if we truly feel that everything is always happening to spite us, then that will be our experience of life.

Again, this is because if that’s how we interpret the actions of others and how we judge the events that unfold in our lives, we are going to react to our own perceptions from states of disappointment, sorrow, regret and even resentment or anger.

Needless to say that we don’t make our most aligned and constructive choices from those kinds of states of beings.

In general, judgmentalism assumes that we know everything about a person or situation and that our minds are already made up about what it represents, rather than remaining open to the possibility of it meaning something else entirely different.

Sometimes, even things that are really shitty can turn into something great. Crops need nutrient-rich fertilizer (manure) to grow in after all, don’t they?

If we assume that we always know what people’s motives are or why things unfold the way that they do, then we may never realize that we actually have the power to make meaning of things in more constructive and empowering ways, rather than always feeling like victims of circumstance.

At its core, this is an egoistic predilection. The ego always wants to believe it knows everything and that it is always right, even if that’s about things never going its way.

There is a kind of twisted little payoff that we get from always feeling like a victim, or thinking that nothing ever works out for us. It may feel like a gratifying sense that that makes us worthy of pity or sympathy, although this obviously does not do much to take us farther towards our personal and spiritual growth or the achievement of our goals.

To humble oneself to the magic and wonder of life is to proclaim that we don’t see the whole bigger picture, and that we can’t even fathom what possibilities exist when we give up the need to judge everything and stick to our preconceived ideas about what it all means.

Neutrality is actually a more empowering and higher vibratory state than anger and judgement. In neutrality, we remain open to what things can be, and don’t get pulled into reactionary patterns that tend to cause problems and reinforce the very situations that we are judging to begin with. 

Ups and downs in life are inevitable, it’s just the nature of the reality we live in. How we define and respond to those ups and downs will always be what sets people apart in terms of favorable or unfavorable life outcomes.

There are numerous reasons why we may respond to situations in very emotionally reactive ways. In the case of apathy or hopelessness, we may truly believe that it is futile to work towards a better life for ourselves, so we’d rather save ourselves the effort and just settle for pity instead.

It is not my intention to trigger anyone with that last statement, but all I’m saying is we have to honestly look at our behavioral patterns to examine the true motives behind our responses.

In the case of extreme anger or rage, we may feel that big displays of wrathful energy are the only means by which we can make anything happen or get other people to cooperate with us. Here again, our intention is basically positive, but the way we go about it is misguided and often distressing and cruel to others.

Instead, we can choose to train ourselves not to immediately be in judgment of anything that is taking place in the world or in our lives. When things are going well there is generally no problem, but it’s those moments where things go sideways that are the real tests.

In those moments, we can take a crucial moment of pause that allows us to become aware of our internal world. What are we thinking and feeling? Do we feel the pull of well-rehearsed patterns of thought that paint things in a very negative or disappointing light?

In those moments like these, just try to understand that that is only one way of perceiving the situation, but there is no law of the Universe that makes that the only true or valid perspective.

Again, there is the way that things appear on the surface (which will be heavily colored by our own beliefs and perspectives), and then there are all the possibilities for what it may actually mean and ultimately lead to. 

As we begin to shift our mindset and beliefs to more empowering and affirming ones, we will literally start to see how many things are not as horrible as they first appeared, and how there may even be hidden blessings within them that we didn’t have the foresight to see in the beginning.

In my view, everything in existence is happening in perfect timing in accord with a higher Cosmic Intelligence. From that perspective, even tragic and apparently devastating situations can be understood to be part of a greater process of the development of consciousness in our world and in the Universe.

That doesn’t mean that anything goes and we can just do whatever we want without consequence, but it does mean that we can be more accepting of what is taking place in our lives and in the world without internally resisting it and judging it as wrong or a mistake. 

Now I am speaking here from the context of mass world events that enter public consciousness in one form or another, but this idea is especially powerful when applied to the way one approaches the events of one’s own life.

You are blessed with the gift of total responsibility for everything that happens in your life, which simply just means that you have the unlimited ability to choose how you respond to anything that happens.

We often think of responsibility as some heavy burden that we have to carry, but responsibility does not always mean physical actions that we must undertake.

Often, it can just be a simple reorientation of our perspective that allows us to surrender resistance to what is and decide to respond in a more positive and open-hearted way that gives us more latitude for constructive choice.

This is what is really meant by the notion that we are completely responsible for every single aspect of our lives. It does not mean that we are to blame for every single thing that happens to us, but simply that we are the only ones who can choose how we are going to respond to it. And that is something that nobody else can ever do for us.

Thank you so much for reading, hope this one really gave you something to think about! Please be sure to subscribe if you haven’t done so already!

Ready to reprogram your mind away from judgment and reactivity and towards success and fulfillment? Use this link to learn more about what I do and how I can help you achieve your fullest potential and start creating life on your own terms: https://heal.me/dskeeler